(May 2010)
Pain
a sudden gush of fright,
no matter how hard I cry,
no matter how fast I run & hide—
from the memories I built inside,
no matter how many hours I sleep
even in my dreams it’s there…
the fear.
The fear that changed my life,
the fear that woke me up
to see the dark without the light.
I could feel it under my skin
running through my veins
until it reach the end of my hairs…
No matter how I laughed it out,
no matter how many times I smiled,
no matter how hard I hugged the rocks,
no matter how strong I threw the stones,
it’s still there.
Now it’s taking over me.
I don’t know how it started
I don’t know if this will ever end.
It may sounds ambiguous,
but I just can’t explain it, well.
Years have passed
I thought I would be alright
but now it’s back
& I don’t how to fight.
I have waited long—
long enough to earn an ounce of guts.
Yes, I prayed,
I prayed even hard that I even doubt,
that there’s something wrong with me,
there is wrong with me.
Oh now I see, it’s me.
